Dream Log: 6/30/2009

I apparently have a new recurring dream...
I had it for the first time last week, I think. Or it's one of those weird deja vu vibes dreams can give you, but I'm pretty sure I've got something episodic going on.
Last week I think I dreamed of the planning aspects, & this time it was the actual event.
It's fading fast, but I'll get what I can down...
Somehow I wind up being a party planner for what I think might be my high school reunion (details are mostly gone). We wind up having a huge black-tie affair on a boat/amusement park/hotel. There's hundreds of people, mass chaos with small children running around. Weirdly, the cast of Friends has been thrown in by my subconcious to add to the fun.
Now, in the first one, episode, whatever... a friend asks me to video-tape a message for his wife. I remember thinking it was a bad idea. I think he was a fellow planner too...
In today's episode, she plays it. It's him killing himself, or having some sort of tragic accident. Their small child sees... I think I was running to stop her, but that's fuzzy now...
What I remember is when it started to fade, I was waking... I could feel the dream trying to keep me there...
I was inconsolible, guilt killing me. I think everyone thought it was tacky of me to be letting it get to me when she was the victim...
I was crying & I shoved something away from me, maybe a toy car, or boat... & it veered off & hit someone in the ass that was sitting nearby.
I looked over, & it was the new widow... Everyone was horrified, then I began to laugh... That total laugh or die kind of feeling...
I woke up laughing...
& all I wondered was why did I really laugh, but not really cry?
What a strange thought to have...

Dream Log: 6/30/2009